Friday, January 20, 2012

...and it's santa's little helper by a nose

The more I people watch the more I realize I am happy with who I am and what I have. Such a simple and powerful statement that lends others to wonder what the author has had happen to cause such profound peace in oneself. I realized I had a social cancer of sorts and I was not taking care of my own needs. I was doing this so much it was almost as if everything was backfiring on me for years... I turn to song to express how this felt.


Do yes, I was tired of trying or thinking I was doing my very best only to have sand fall through my fingers, to watch things I touched turn to dust, or even to constantly be accused of being the wicked one. So be it, I'm wicked through and through. I laugh at how I thought a couple of years ago. Altruism gets you one place usually... a place of accusation and appreciation. Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention. Well I know better then to ask that question. I am altruistic, and anyone who wishes to turn it into something mean or evil is not someone I ever need to associate with. It's been pointed out that in focusing on individuals who do not deserve my time I neglect the one who are and have been there for me. Time to give these unsung heroes some time. Some love and affection in the way they deserve. So first, in true Alphawater spirit a song for you all...

It has taken me nearly 30 years (wow one more to go and this will be absolutely true) to learn that in order to take care of others as I wished to it is in taking care of myself that those I love will be taken care of, and the ones who are gone... are gone and I should not be sad or angry or even worry about it. If anyone wishes to keep in contact with me they just shall. It will be effortless, and fluid. So I leave with one last song from the greatest band of all time in hope that i shall be saved from my villainous imagination.

If I said, something to make you mad I will take it back... Save me from a villainous imagination, deliver me from my friends. We can have perfect 20/20 hindsight...

In hindsight as always I realize I should never participate in online chat rooms. The jury is still out on forums. I'll have a good hearty laugh now and then fade into the background. I know this 5th of February will be one never forgotten (at least by me).

Monday, January 9, 2012


So he sent me this song as some cryptic way of expressing his feelings. Alright, Yes you either have moved on or want to so why send me any song. Stop contacting me I have no interest in talking to you. Speak with the one who you're supposed to be contacting, she doesn't hear from you enough. Well so sure he sent me a video. Here a video in response to that :P

Thank to D for his support and for knowing both sides very well.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A long and satisfying day

After waking up to a great phone call, no seriously... I headed off to work. Where I was stopped by no less the 3 managers all wanting me to train people on different things. They then proceeded to fight over me and the times I was to do these things all while I stood there checking in boxes from fed ex  (As i am a DSD or directs associate and upc/office associate now), an l-cart full of merchandise later my fate was decided and off I went to actually finish paperwork before heading to electronics to school some newbies in the art of cell phone sales all while juggling customers. Score!
Here comes the more awesome. My circle of rp friends has exploded all over the gosh darn place. So between some good ol' fashion phone rp I get a message from GC about some dvd's on sale. More awesome, and wow. I even got the last hot dog from the restaurant inside my store almost as a reward. Finishing the storyline of Persephone with Lillian and moving onto something new. I clocked back in and started checking on hand reports. Training another associate on how to use the gemini while I do so. Last things that rounded off the day was teaching anther associate how to bin things into our system using that tool we all need... yes the gemini again. A busy day, but so satisfying.
After taking care of my bills I now need to balance my "check book." I only use that saying as a saying since I keep track of all my spending via online. Save the trees! CXhores are mostly done so I will have a free weekend! rock! I look forward to more writing and hopefully some skype time. Lets see what exciting things happen tomorrow. I am so giddy right now :D